I Don’t Have an Eating Disorder---I Just Watch What I Eat
Patti came into my office for her usual one o’clock counseling appointment. She had just come from her doctor’s office for a yearly check-up where she was informed she was obese and needed to lose weight. She was very upset. Patti struggled with food her whole life, constantly gaining and losing weight, but at this point in her life, she considered herself pretty healthy. To look at her, you wouldn’t have used the word obese to describe her body. She worked out, was conscious of what she ate, and had a more balanced view of herself----so she thought.
Patti was like a lot of women who deceive themselves into thinking they have their food and body image issues under control. They spend years dieting, watching what they eat, binging or restricting food, ruminating about their weight and body image, and gaining and losing weight. Because they don’t fit in to the category of traditional eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia or compulsive overeating, they assume they don’t have a problem.
That day in my office, I gently confronted Patti by asking her to consider that she had a “different” type of eating disorder; one that clinicians call an eating disorder not otherwise specified (EDNOS). As we talked, Patti acknowledged a problem existed. That was a huge first step. She agreed she had used food as a way to protect herself from all the emotional pain she experienced in life. As we met in the ongoing months, she realized obsessing about food, body image, and working out had been a heavy burden to bear. It had provided a sense of security for her ---but it was always temporary and could only be maintained through strict performance.
I challenged Patti to count the cost of her eating disorder. What effect had it had on her mental and physical health? Her relationships? Her spiritual life? What had she forfeited in exchange for the ideal? Perhaps you’ve wondered what your life would be like if you didn’t have to worry so much about food and body image. Maybe you’ve noticed how much space these thoughts have taken up in your life. Maybe you’re ready for a change, but you’re uncertain of how to begin the journey. Here are some things to consider:
- Acknowledge a problem exists
- Look at yourself honestly
- Address grief and loss issues that may linked to your disordered eating
- Notice how much time you spend thinking about your food, weight or body image
- Get support through organizations like NEDA (nationaleatingdisorders.org), EDIN(myedin.org), MEDA (medainc.org)
- Explore your beliefs about food, weight and body image. Those messages have contributed to your disordered eating. You must change and modify existing beliefs to recover
- Face your inner critic by noticing what you tell yourself daily.
- Learn to speak kindly and non-judgmentally about yourself. Consider you are fearfully and wonderfully made
- Practice accepting yourself---even when you feel you fall short
- Learn to be more flexible
- Learn to express your feelings instead of stuffing them
- Evaluate what your ED is costing you. Ask yourself if it’s worth it
- Become aware of your triggers
- See a professional to get help if necessary
As you remove the armor of denial and begin the journey of self-acceptance, as you become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and triggers, you will learn to live a more authentic life---one where you can see yourself through the eyes of your creator, and not your weight or appearance.