Article Written By Tammy Daughtry, MMFT
Founder, Co-Parenting International
Author, “Co-parenting Works! Helping Your Children Thrive After Divorce”
I have been a co-parent for 10 years now, Angelia was two when her father and I divorced. One of the best decisions we made early on was to NEVER discuss co-parenting issues in front of her during the transition time. We don't discuss schedule issues, financial issues or even discipline concerns. We reserve these discussions for a private conversation between us when she is not present. Over the years we have met for coffee at a local restaurant or we have planned conference calls in the evenings after she is asleep. It has taken hard work to make these meetings possible, but what we have done is given Angelia a peaceful experience when we are both present, with no worry or concern about anything uncomfortable for her.
Unfortunately, many children of divorce truly dread the transition time because their parents argue and discuss difficult topics in front of them. Many angry ex's use this as a time to try and get back at the other parent, but the person who gets hurt the most is always the child. If you are a co-parent or you know someone who is, consider trying to have co-parenting meetings away from the children's hearing or sight.
In my book, “Co-parenting Works! Helping Children Thrive After Divorce,” we call these TEAMM Meetings: The TEAMM acronym stands for The End Adult Matters Most. We have to put aside our past, our emotions, and find a way to coordinate schedules and life details so our children can have the very best life possible, even though they are being raised between two homes. We compare this to being “CO-CEOs” of a business. There are thousands of details to manage, financial obligations, long range planning as well as immediate crisis management at times. It is critical that co-parents work together for the sake of their children.
Please consider attending a co-parenting seminar in the Nashville area. Details for January 21, 24 and February 25 and 28 events are posted on the website.
For a free sample of a “CO-PARENTING TEAMM MEETING AGENDA” and other free co-parenting articles, see www.CoparentingInternational.com.