Article Written By Tammy Daughtry, MMFT
Founder, Co-Parenting International
Author, “Co-parenting Works! Helping Your Children Thrive After Divorce”
I have been a co-parent for 10 years now, Angelia was two when her father and I divorced. One of the best decisions we made early on was to NEVER discuss co-parenting issues in front of her during the transition time. We don't discuss schedule issues, financial issues or even discipline concerns. We reserve these discussions for a private conversation between us when she is not present. Over the years we have met for coffee at a local restaurant or we have planned conference calls in the evenings after she is asleep. It has taken hard work to make these meetings possible, but what we have done is given Angelia a peaceful experience when we are both present, with no worry or concern about anything uncomfortable for her.
Unfortunately, many children of divorce truly dread the transition time because their parents argue and discuss difficult topics in front of them. Many angry ex's use this as a time to try and get back at the other parent, but the person who gets hurt the most is always the child. If you are a co-parent or you know someone who is, consider trying to have co-parenting meetings away from the children's hearing or sight.
In my book, “Co-parenting Works! Helping Children Thrive After Divorce,” we call these TEAMM Meetings: The TEAMM acronym stands for The End Adult Matters Most. We have to put aside our past, our emotions, and find a way to coordinate schedules and life details so our children can have the very best life possible, even though they are being raised between two homes. We compare this to being “CO-CEOs” of a business. There are thousands of details to manage, financial obligations, long range planning as well as immediate crisis management at times. It is critical that co-parents work together for the sake of their children.
Please consider attending a co-parenting seminar in the Nashville area. Details for January 21, 24 and February 25 and 28 events are posted on the website.
For a free sample of a “CO-PARENTING TEAMM MEETING AGENDA” and other free co-parenting articles, see www.CoparentingInternational.com.
I was sitting alone early in the morning on Dec 25. What a great day. Soon I will be picking up my son to take him back to my place for a few hours. He is just 6. I love I’m so much. I love Jesus too. It hasn’t, been easy through my divorce over these last 2 years. I battled a lot of problems including it seems a legal system that is so corrupt.
I have carried a lot of hurt and anger based on what was happening to me for a long time. As I was taking my shower this morning a thought came over me to write a letter to my ex to tell her how I felt. I district know whether or not these things were coming from the holy spirit or myself. Something drove me to this site and to this article that June wrote dealing with anger. It spoke to me in a rather profound way.
Merry Christmas and happy new year and love to you all
so glad it helped! Merry Merry
John thanks for taking the time to write. I am glad you were blessed
Its never easy. But at some point u have to achieve a iner resolve that u will need to make changes in our life. God bless Rita and her good friend June hunt, which i listen to her radio show at night time