Have you ever compared yourself to someone else? Maybe a best friend who seems to have the “perfect” life. Or the girl at the gym who’s half your age---and half your size. Or how about your boss who makes more money than you and works a lot less? Let’s face it we’re always comparing ourselves to others, looking to find our “everything” over there. Where does it lead? To envy, jealousy and discontentment. In case you missed it---that’s sin.
It follows the old adage “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.” The problem is, when we get over the fence, there are a whole slew of problems there!
As I’m reading my friend Mary DeMuth's book, Everything, I realize that there are so many ways we look for everything “over there.” In essence what we’re saying is:
- God I don’t like what you’ve given me
- I don’t like the story you’ve written for my life
- I’ll be happy when…
- If only I had _______I’d be happy
- God if you do this, I’ll be OK
- God if you hadn’t done this I’d be OK
Believing your everything is over there is an illusion---sometimes a costly one. Take Renee. She was a “good girl.” She always followed the rules, never rocked the boat, and never did anything wrong. After ten years of marriage, she felt bored. She loved her husband, but he wasn’t meeting her needs.
It started with fantasizing. There was this guy at work who paid attention to her, and it felt good. She’d find herself thinking about him--- a lot. She fell into the “if I only” trap. She believed if only her husband was like the guy at work, she’d be happy. Because she was bored with her life, Renee justified her feelings. “God, I don’t like the husband you’ve given me, if only I had a husband who paid more attention to me, I’d be happy.”
The truth is, Renee didn’t really know the guy at her office. She was looking for her everything “over there” without even knowing what the “over there” looked like. But because she felt she had missed out on life from playing the good girl, Renee took the bait and started an affair with the guy at her office. The results were catastrophic.
In the search for her everything, Renee lost her family. She was empty, broken and alone. The saddest part was Renee had everything, but it took her losses for her to see it.
Renee had been raised a Christian. She loved God. But somehow the enemy of her soul convinced her that her everything would be found in the things of the world, when all along she had it buried deep within her heart.
As bad as things got, God used the circumstances in Renee’s life to show her the bankruptcy of looking for her everything through worldly pursuits. Once he got a hold of her heart-- Renee’s life changed dramatically. With Jesus as her everything, Renee found she was content to stay on the right side of the fence.
Rita, thanks for an insightful post. Recently I heard someone remark that “comparison is a thief “. It’s a habit that robs us of contentment and cheats us out of valuing who we really are.
What a great analogy. Thnx Gina. let’s hook up with tricia in the new year!
Just got what i really needed, thanks..
Glad it helped